Sex bloggers, Em & Lo, have helped us out by pinpointing the Top 10 Signs You’re Reading Bad Erotica. Ahhh…a topic we have been rather familiar with at Sonic Erotica as we’ve trawled through our submissions and the wider Internet looking for great erotic writing to feature in our shiny new content. You won’t find any “rods of steel” at Sonic Erotica.
I especially like number 7:

You note excessive use of fire imagery, as in: “The candles flickered and the fireplace roared as he stoked the flames of her burning desire with his fireman’s pole until she was so hot and bothered, the fire alarm rang and the sprinklers busted a nut all over their smoldering lust.”